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| My mind is set on overdrive...
What up xanga peeps...
It's that time again...procrastination is the main event. Not surprisingly, for the same class and a similar assignment as my last procrastination entry. So....anyways....I have 9 pages, single-spaced due Friday again on the Yanomamo tribe. Singlemotherfuckenspaced?! Who does that? That makes this paper oh so unnecessarily long.
The clock is laughing at my face...
I haven't done any of the reading yet...nor have I watched the required video. So yea...after much myspacing and facebooking, along w/ some pot smoking....I finally decided to go to Leavey Library to go get the video and watch it so I could start. I down a Rockstar energy drink....play some "Eye of the Tiger".....start running up and down the stairs....dance like a butterfly, sting like a bee....
A crooked spine...
I am set.
It is time to rock n' roll
My senses dulled...
So I go to Leavey...walk up to the reference desk....ask for the video....
Reference Desk guy: "Hmmmm....it appears that someone borrowed this video a month ago and hasn't returned it yet."
Benson: *begins to choke a bitch*
Passed the point of delirium...
To Whom It May Concern,
Thank you so much for borrowing the required video that was an essential part of my final paper. I will now be unable to complete my final exam. You selfish selfish motherfucker. Fuck Leavey. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck all. No amount of "fucks" can possibly describe how fucked I am right now nor will it be able to express how much of a fucker you are. Your fucker-ness is infinite and expands over multiple dimensions of fuckxistence. Congratufuckenlations fucker. Motherfucker fuck fucker shit. I hope you fail too fucker. May you eat shit and die.
Sincerely Fucking You,
Benson K. Lau
P.S.
Did I mention how much of a fucker you are? If I didn't.....Fuck you. You are a fucker.
On my own...
here we go...
I can't even go to fucken sleep right now b/c I just downed that Rockstar. Life's a bitch. But the aforementioned douche who borrowed the video and never returned it is a bigger bitch.
PEACE
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| Holy shit its been a while...
Are people even on this thing anymore?
Anyways...I dunno what it is that made me want to post on xanga again...I kinda sorta miss it...
just a little bit...
Anyways...On with my life's story...
I was born on December 25, 1985 at approximately 7:00am. For you lay
men...that would be Christmas morning. What an expensive present I was
for my parents. It only costs them $40,000 or so a year to sustain me.
Aside from the overriding guilt that plagues my current existence, I
live a lifestyle full of year-long procrastination and partying. The
consequences of my partying, like everything in my life up until today,
have been procrastinated. I am quite sure that my childhood dreams of
becoming rich and successful will not be realized because of these
consequences. It is as though I've set up a ticking time bomb on my
life; of which the explosion will not only destroy me, but everything
that has been expected of me as well. As I type this entry...I am
already procrastinating an Antropology paper on the Yanomamo that was
due last Friday. I really couldn't give a shit nor understand how the
study of australopithecines will enrich my life. Its depressing to
think about...on top of that we have rent, credit card bills, bank
notices telling you your balance is in the negatives......and of
course...my loving parents. What they did to deserve such a bastard
child, I do not know. Good people...bad egg. It's only a matter of time
before they figure me out. Unapologetic? No...don't get me wrong...but
what good does apologizing do when I just am what I am. So be
it....hedonism...whatever you wanna call
it....fuckeverythingintheworld-ism....I AM THERE.
It is as though I've made so many fuck-ups so far in my life that I
wanna hit the "RESET" button. Yes, I have fucked my life up. There is
no denying that. Nor do I justify it by telling myself "Hey...at least
im not like one of those Rwandan kids on TV with the flies all over
their face and shit"...or "at least im not living in Sudan." Sure it
makes me feel good (I know...its sick) but fuck...what good does
justifying my laziness do for me. It doesn't change my life...just my
perspective. To justify laziness is like masturbating to make yourself
feel better. Sure it sounds like a great fucken idea at the time and it
makes you feel better...but when you're done...you just feel stupid,
shameful, guilty, and your life still sucks...if not...it sucks even
more because now not only does your life still
suck...but God is gonna kill an innocent kitten because of you. And all
your dead relatives and shit...who were looking over you from heaven to
make sure you're studying hard and doing well just saw you choking the
snake. How's that on your conscience? Bad
monkey...bad bad monkey... Whether I look back and see my life as
either tragic or comedic...i'll know in the end...But until then...im
just having fun before the rain clouds come and fuck up my sunshine...
Anyways...
thats my rant.
To all the underachieving, procrastinating, lazy bums like me...
Let's piss it all away...
and piss on life and its expectations like R. Kelly in a motherfucken day-care center...
*HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND*
OCTOBER 28th...MONSTER MASSIVE....LOS ANGELES SPORTS ARENA...
time to get out the 12 gage and blow our fucken brains out.
time to forget how shitty life is...and end our suffering momentarily by trippin the fuck out on MDMA...
time to take life deliberately and fuck the shit out of it...
to all you overachieving, hard-working, successful people of tomorrow:
you can have your shitty world and live your career driven, oh-so
wonderfully purposeful lives. Hope your 401(K) works out and you have a
nice happy retirement fishing off the coast of Ko-Samui.
Its not envy...
or maybe it is...
i need to grow up...
maybe i'll do it tomorrow....
when I'm done having fun...
i dunno...maybe next week...
MAYBE...
laterz for now party people...
im done masturbating...
time to start on my paper...or will I?
skeet skeet skeet skeet
Peace out readers.
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| aloha readers...
it has been a little over 2 weeks...going one week 3 now...
no drugs (herb doesn't count)...
not too much drinking...
ok...maybe i lied a bit on that one..
been eating more/healthier foods...putting on some weight....getting tan (and sunburnt....so itchy...gaaaahhhhh)
and most importantly...
i believe that i have officially QUIT SMOKING.
hooray for me.
now to quit all that other shit...
peace out peeps and until i write again.
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| Dear World,
I lost my cellphone a couple days ago but I've recently acquired a new one as well. Unfortunately this means that I have lost all the numbrs in my phonebook as well. Thus, I would like for those who have my number to call (its the same number), state your name (first and last please), a salutation (any will do...im not picky), and we may or may not have a conversation (i don't want to get anyone's hopes up). ....as well.
Sincerely,
Ben son L A U
PS
I almost forgot....I would like to give a big "THANK YOU" out to the person who found my ATM card (I lost it the same day I lost my phone) and used it. I hope you enjoyed my money motherfuckeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. aiite...im out
piece
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| Spontaneous! Entry! By: Me! and Co-written by Charlie!
Shout out! to my niggas out there doing the damn thing!
Dedicated to: Kendall Brooks! and all the peeps who keeps it real.
*Warning* The following entry is comprised of
spontaneous thoughts that may lack coherence, structure, and meaning.
Some content is not suitable for children! The author will not be held
responsible for any damages to or loss of both tangible or intangible
personal belongings such as brain cells or time. Read on at your own
discretion.
Allright. Here goes.
Hi! If you are reading this entry right now, you are probably someone I
know. But if you aren't, then you are either lost, googled something
similar to or
containing the word "Benson" (chances are you were probably looking for
"Anna Benson" or "Kris Benson's wife", if so...here:, stalking me with
oh yea...the previous entry was supposed to be a joke...or at least it seemed funny to me at the time...
those of you go got it, please humor me with a chuckle...even though im probably not anywhere near you
For those of you who didn't, try hitting "Refresh" a couple times...sometimes it doesn't load correctly!
Wow...I am lame. But thats ok...I amuse myself!
Which brings me to the subject of: self amusement!
Otherwise known as: Masturbation!
ok...now some of you might be thinking: ?
and others might be thinking: ?!
what the fuck is this guy on?!
Well...i won't lie...i am on drugs at the moment and have a biology final exam to take in approximately 4 hours!
Yes! I am writing a xanga entry on masturbation instead of cramming! What the hell am I doing?!
I don't really know yet! Although, I am optimistic that this entry will
arrive upon a point and it will make me feel happy that I efficiently
utilized valuable time to create !
This is an un-edited, un-scripted, LIVE performance of "Benson Thinking"!
Art, music, literature, film, philosophy, science, math, architecture,
and all those other activities people do to amuse other people, themselves, or both.
Hold that thought!
Life is a comedic tragedy!
It is an extra credit assignment that was assigned to us by our parents
during our accidental (WHOOPSIES!) or intentional (sex? now? hold
on...let me check my sex schedule..hmm....im sorry...i have leisure
from now until noon. How's about we do sex at 9:00pm after my 8:45pm
after-dinner shit?), or spontaneous (Surprise her! consensually of
course.) conception. Being "extra" credit...it is often procrastinated,
forgotten, or
Assignment: Existence
Worth: Self determined
Due Date: whenever
Minimum: TBD
Maximum: TBD
Please do not copy each other's work. You are only cheating yourself.
Clamations vs. Ex-clamations: Surprise! WOW! YAY! Exclamations are
extremely positive, negative, or apathetic feelings resulting from a
Fuck equilibrium. Ripples sound like Ruffles: which are more appealing to the palette texturally than plain potato chips.
We are all retarded students who have been assigned an assignment that
is inherently stupid. Whoever created this stupid assignment...must
also be the one who corrects this stupid assignment...thus implying
either a creator who is either extremely stupid or ignorant of
stupidity. On one hand,
Random thought: motivation and its various forms. Freud hypothesized that all human behavior is
"I am not young enough to know everything.(!)"-Oscar Wilde
If you got this far into the entry...give yourself a handshake.
Congratulations! You've won either a smorgasbord of mixed thoughts and
emotions, popularly known as CONFUSION, OR you've managed to rearrange,
delete, add, order, chop, dice, connect, mold, deep fry, rub...you get
the picture...etc etc etc my seemingly incomplete, incoherent,
spontaneously disorganized machinations of thoughts; And created a
unique pictoral, sensual, mental, sexual, etc interpretation of what it
is I am trying to say. Thus obtaining a feeling or sense of knowledge
that is genuinely unique and can only be interpreted by yourself.
This entry is really just an exclamation mark created for the sole
purpose of expressing "!". Despite numerouse variations of "!"
cheers!
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